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All Theoretical

I found myself following a random link to a YouTube video (by the way, “the LHC” [mentioned in the video] is the Large Hadron Collider, if you were wondering). There was a lot of time in the video given to words by a woman named Dorota Grabowska. Dr. Grabowska is a senior fellow at CERN.

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Comment from Facebook

I feel like this comment needs to get as much exposure as possible…

(copied from here)

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Experiencing the Wrong Emotions

Well, the good news is that the new antidepressant I’m taking seems to be helping. For all the people who said I was “over-thinking”, that may have been technically correct, but it was the wrong focus. The actual problem was that I was under-feeling, so any over-thinking was an attempt to fill in the gap. So, the actual fix wasn’t for me to work on thinking less, it was to figure out how to feel more.

The bad news is that the “feels” that I have been having are bad ones. To do a little “vaguebooking”, I really shouldn’t have been reading those old emails I was reading. …and no, they’re not to/from the person you’re probably thinking about. I know better than to read emails traded with her.

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Over-thinking Perceived as a Character Flaw

I followed a Facebook link to a web article tonight. This totally stood out to me:

Thinking “too much” about things would become a character flaw.

What people who know me need to understand is that when I hear the well-intended thought that I’m over-thinkingthat’s how it comes across to me.

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A Crisis of Confidence

Something that’s so clear to me sometimes seems like pure fantasy at other times, and I think that right now I understand. Because of that, I think it’s critical that I write this now. For me, words are so powerful, that things that I’m feeling are simply not real unless I can explain them with words.

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Being Lost in Someone Else

Here’s a quote I ran across tonight:

You’ll never be able to find yourself if you’re lost in someone else.

I think the quote is true, and I’m betting that most of my friends know who I think I was “lost in”. The real trick is, though, that there’s a big distance between realizing that and knowing what to do about it. I had become so comfortable being “lost in” her, that my first instinct is to do it again with someone else.

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The Reference in my Previous Post

For anyone who didn’t catch the reference I made in the subject line for my previous post here (stolen from Kevin Smith), I don’t think I’ll be “chasing Amy” any more. In truth, I stopped doing that even before she left, but it’s comforting to finally (I think) understand the “disconnect”.

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Discerning Amy

One of the basic contradictions I’ve been trying to figure out is the difference between how I saw Amy and how some of my friends saw her. I’m not able to fully understand something unless I have words for it. This morning, I think I finally figured it out. Hang on, because this one is definitely going to be a bumpy ride. 😉

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My first “feelings” post

I just tonight realized that my web log is the perfect place for something I’ve decided I’m going to start doing: making notes each time I notice myself feeling an emotion.

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A Very Cool “Reason To Be”

I was chatting with a friend online today, and she said something that just felt right. She agreed to let me quote it, so here you go:

I’ve come to the conclusion that the point of being alive (for me, at least) is to be known and know other people as deeply and real-ly as possible.